27 Feb Better together.

For days now I just hear Him whispering in my ear, “better together, better together.” As much as I looked forward to partnering with someone in mission and purpose, the truth is I’ve been alone for a long time… before the divorce, before I’d gotten married. I know how to do “alone” — maybe too well.

Somewhere in my story I’d come to believe that I was fine on my own and didn’t need help. I thought, if I needed it, I would have had it — so I guess if I didn’t get it, I must not have needed it. In fact, I was praised a lot for not needing help… this translated to a problematic narrative that I was self-sufficient and sustaining. No man is an island, but I definitely tried (and failed miserably).

God dismantled this lie when He permitted me to lose all control and He stripped me of unhealthy thinking and behavior patterns. That and therapy always go a long way.

But here’s the truth, I am still inclined to resist help because I’m not accustomed having it… mmm, no — I’m not accustomed accepting it. I’m a poor recipient. I used to think that receiving help meant I was indebted to the giver. So untrue.

My default setting is still bent toward resistance first, then rethinking it. Just because the relationship is healthy, doesn’t mean that I’ve got the skill down — now begins the opportunity to put the work in action. I was pretty dope on my own after doing some hard work, but I’m sure I’ll be better together. He wants to see me win just as badly as I do.

So when your help comes friends, if you find yourself resisting — dig up those roots and ask yourself why you’re having a hard time receiving what you’ve asked for. Be gentle with yourself like you would your friend, acknowledge your stuff, accept it and then begin course correction. Let people know you’re working on some things. All good work takes time. #BetterTogether